I do it for you
It has been a rough summer. Few adoptions, beloved cats with fatal diseases, and too many people who “need” to give up their pets. Every day I question if the misery is worth it. Psychologists say you need 10 positive events to negate a single bad event. I can promise you we don’t come close to that. My heart skips when I see emails with the subject “kittens” or “cats”, because I’m terrified it will be someone wanting to give up their pets. I ask myself every day, should we give up the shelter? Is the grief more than the joy? If we didn’t have to take care of Freckle, Persia, Nook, and the other adults who have been with us for more than a year, could we spend more time preventing unwanted births? What should we focus on? The truth is we would have had a greater impact on the overpopulation situation if we spent all the money on spay/neuter. But that would have meant death for Mr. Rub My Belly, who was adopted last night. And so many others that I have loved.
I look at them. They have no idea that they are only alive because of me. They don’t know how close to cracking that I am. I constantly search for the strength I need. I can see why so few people are donating the time and money to help the animals. It’s because if they recognize the problem they won’t be able to deal with the emotional consequence. Sometimes I get strength from people who adopted from us and love their new family member. Sometimes commiserating with those who go through the same thing helps. Sometimes it is snuggling with Bob or Cuddles that helps. I am not sure that I’m a strong person. I bawl my eyes out with every death. I feel guilt at not being able to save them all, at not recognizing their illness sooner.
But this is why I continue to do it:
I do it for you, the homeless feral who will continue to be emaciated and give birth 4 times per year, unless I intervene
I do it for you, Stella, who died of renal failure this week
I do it for you, the Woolie family, who were in danger before I relocated you
I do it for you, Lucky, who would have been dead within a few weeks, had I not called the sheriff and demanded your surrender
I do it for you, Persia, who had to hunt for food before I trapped you
I do it for you, Cuddles, who miraculously survived 16 months without a human, after hurricane Katrina
I do it for you, Toby, who would have been put to sleep elsewhere simply because you had a broken leg
I do it for you, Monkey, whose entire family was diagnosed with FIV
I do it for you, Bob, my reason for living
And most of all, I do it for Jandy, the best thing to ever happen to me……….
I look at them. They have no idea that they are only alive because of me. They don’t know how close to cracking that I am. I constantly search for the strength I need. I can see why so few people are donating the time and money to help the animals. It’s because if they recognize the problem they won’t be able to deal with the emotional consequence. Sometimes I get strength from people who adopted from us and love their new family member. Sometimes commiserating with those who go through the same thing helps. Sometimes it is snuggling with Bob or Cuddles that helps. I am not sure that I’m a strong person. I bawl my eyes out with every death. I feel guilt at not being able to save them all, at not recognizing their illness sooner.
But this is why I continue to do it:
I do it for you, the homeless feral who will continue to be emaciated and give birth 4 times per year, unless I intervene
I do it for you, Stella, who died of renal failure this week
I do it for you, the Woolie family, who were in danger before I relocated you
I do it for you, Lucky, who would have been dead within a few weeks, had I not called the sheriff and demanded your surrender
I do it for you, Persia, who had to hunt for food before I trapped you
I do it for you, Cuddles, who miraculously survived 16 months without a human, after hurricane Katrina
I do it for you, Toby, who would have been put to sleep elsewhere simply because you had a broken leg
I do it for you, Monkey, whose entire family was diagnosed with FIV
I do it for you, Bob, my reason for living
And most of all, I do it for Jandy, the best thing to ever happen to me……….
posted by Amy at
6:22 PM
